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Some bad news

Have you ever received some bad news that left you speechless? I mean terrible news, that made you feel as if someone had hit you a hammer and you were still in shock, unable to get a hold of yourself or focus on anything else, except for the news that got you into that state in the first place?

This morning I had a short conversation with one of my family members and my whole day got ruined. Those two minutes were capable of taking my mind away from my work and all the other things I had planned for the day. I had to cancel all my meetings, including the one for the access control for home GTA. Actually it was my secretary who did it. After I hang up the phone with my brother, I sat on my chair for a minute or two and then I rushed out, gasping for air. On my way out, I told her I had to leave for the day. I didn’t explain why or when I will return. I just stormed out.

My mind was not in the right place. It would have been foolisher of me to meet with any of my clients. I would not have been able to act professional. At first, I was shocked to hear the news. My mind refused to process the new information, rejecting any hypothesis, labelling it as invalid. I tend to forget that life does not care about respecting rules or that it does not follow any known algorithm. 

Once I started to get used to the idea that Pops was gone for good, I felt upset. There were so many things we did not get a chance to talk about. Things that I wanted to do with him, places that I wanted to take him... Oh, Jeez! How was I going to deal with all of that mess? I had no idea he was sick!

How was that even possible? How come I did not know anything about his sickness? How could I have been so blind? How many other family members knew about it? Was I the only one kept in the dark? If yes, why? Why did he keep this a secret? I did not know we had secrets?!

So many questions I could not find the answers. I could not understand why he chose to leave this secret aside and face his end all alone? He meant everything for me.

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